|About the Book|
A Relationship with Leslie Gives Insights to BobIn Bob Does Everything Backwards (subtitled Writing Out of an Illness) I describe life experiences, relations with Leslie Jeanne and my mental illness. Throughout this book I describe what impacts myMoreA Relationship with Leslie Gives Insights to BobIn Bob Does Everything Backwards (subtitled Writing Out of an Illness) I describe life experiences, relations with Leslie Jeanne and my mental illness. Throughout this book I describe what impacts my life, my reactions, thoughts and feelings. Of special note is the urge towards violence and the teddy bears which show how Leslie and I relate to each other when we are alone. At first I was not comfortable showing the reader this personal relationship that I have with my wife. This love was meant for us behind closed doors. In the writing I try to slightly vex the reader primarily from my embarrassment of admitting to the innocence and softness of the teddy bears. I did not want to show this personal side of my private life. Now things are different and I say, “Damn my inhibitions! Free up the truth!” These teddy bears are keys to help the readers know how to not be afraid of mentally ill people. You may now know about my personal relations with my wife because this manuscript is truly literary-nonfiction. I heartily remain in love with Leslie.In the beginning of my life there was emotional bonding then chaos. I bonded with family and friends only to be torn away from familiarity and transplanted 3,000 miles away. My mental abyss came when I lived and studied 500 miles from my nearest relative. Things happened to me that I could not explain. I did not have the mettle to face life in a healthy way. It became important to be altruistic but I kept putting kindness off until becoming totally self-centered. Selfishness was not my only problem. I isolated into psychosis and could not ask essential questions. Why was I here? What should I do? Why was I so lonely? What can my brain do now? Potential friends did not understand and drifted off to their busy activities. I began relying on professionals- some who wanted to work on me. There was not trust and I played too hard. Isolation made for bad decisions. I moved from Los Angeles to Stamford, Connecticut not knowing a soul. Giving away my spirit made strangers abuse me for it.Medical and spiritual institutions seemed to cloud the issues. Instead, educational and family influences showed that there were simpler ways of solving my problems. I had searched for miracles when all I had to do was adopt good living habits. First, I had to stop creating chaos and make a simple list – one a grade school student could follow:Work on impulse control.Delay gratification.Express myself acceptably.Adapt to a changing environment.Use daily disciplines.Behavior had to change before thinking did. By use of actions I had to believe that I was getting better. It made sense to pray while jogging or walking because the movement could be an offering. G-O-D became Good Orderly Direction. There would be no more self-pity or morbid reflection because the second wind for a new life would come.This bullet list helped me very much:List assets and liabilities daily.Work on building relationships.Have loves.Spend the time to complete tasks.Learn from experiences.Show appreciation towards life.Writing this book made me take more responsibility for my life. I care and respect others and know that when showing emotions I can be honest. The book was written so that I would become a better person. I hope we all will get along better in society for we need to flourish. May God Bless you.